woman Märtin, you know the top ten thousand. The distance between the middle class and the Rich is growing …

If I may interject the same: we should not Think only of money. The income and assets you have, for sure. For other things in the middle of the upper layer approaches. And Vice-versa.

How to please?

The top layer is closely watching what is going on in the middle.

And what do you see when you look Down?

she sees a growing number of highly trained young women and men from the middle class, the know it when compartment locker with their own offspring. Today, 50 percent of a cohort finish high school. Also children of the middle layer complete, of course, your year abroad at a high school in the USA, new Zealand or Australia. You are multilingual, you come back from Work-and-Travel from South America, they are networked across continents.

How to react on this competition?

Earlier, the upper layer was sufficient for their offspring, the national humanistic Gymnasium. The notes had to be so insanely good. Today, the Kids are sent to private bilingual schools, boarding schools and elite schools in England or America: Stanford, Oxford, Imperial College London. 90 percent of the upper class children get a degree.

How to speak in the upper layer above us in the middle? With Malice?

no. Definitely not. The performance of the center are considered from the upper layer, respectively and with respect. Some even find it unfair that the high earners are subject to the same tax rates as the top three percent. I find it interesting also that the top layer absorbs a lot of developments and fashions from the middle.


Doris Märtin has been working for more than 20 years with personality development

©Dirk Bruniecki


seen From above, it is not so: The center has much less money, but it offers a lot of modern and inspiring spirit of the times. For example, the Trends to organic, sustainability, healthy living, good food and Drink from the Region. Since it is possible to distinguish an Heirloom tomato from a hothouse tomato. For an old refurbished Peugeot road bike you can get at least as much attention as the all-new Range Rover. Such Trends in the upper layer.

remains at the Top still at the top. The Elite researcher Michael Hartmann has the Numbers. After that, the majority of top managers come from the top four percent of our society. But the middle class still believes that there is to know about specialist, financial statements, Overtime comes up. A Mistake?

More of a blind spot. The center overlooks the fact that, the further one rises to the top, the more the Habitus comes into play, i.e. the Occurrence.

What do you mean with “Habitus”, exactly? Something like “barn smell”?

I am working now for 20 years with personality development. The Habitus of the bracket, which includes everything: our manners, tastes, habits. This also includes Knowledge, money, social, cultural and emotional capital. To speak to one of our way is part of the Habitus, how we network, and even how we look.

And why is the correct smell is so crucial?

Because of him depends on how we resonate with other people. If someone wants to make a career, he or she has to encounter decision-makers at resonance. This sympathy, this Like is formed by a similar Habitus.

For whom it is particularly important to pay attention to his Habitus?

If one is good, but nothing to offer that is Unique. Honestly, this is the case for most of us. If someone is the Best or the First, plays Habitus is not so important. A Mark Zuckerberg can afford to appear in Flip-Flops to the appointment with investors.

we Take as an example the case of a young man from a working-class family. He has managed educational advancement, has degrees and a doctorate. He knows the etiquette rules. He knows how to audit a trout file. And yet, he does not feel the company receiving comfortable in his own skin. Why?


Doris Märtin is an Alumna of the German Knigge Council and style expert. In her book “Habitus” (Campus Verlag, 22,95 euros), decrypts them, as the Elite is ticking. This Märtin is based on sociological and psychological research – but also on their own experiences in the upper layer.

©Campus Verlag

The last block, he lacks the ease and Unverkrampftheit, parquet, security, which is so typical for people who are born in the upper layer.

Why is it so hard to ease things up?

The Habitus is sluggish. He is changing, but not in a rush.

And what of the newcomer?

My recommendation to him is: imagine, you arrive in a foreign country and you see how it is done here. You listen to only once. Michelle Obama lived in with their role as a First Lady. This experience has given to you the other day to Meghan Markle: “My most important advice is to take your time and not to rush. It is tackle okay – it is even good.”

What the Situation is for the climbers is more difficult: the invitation to the Chef at home or the Small Talk at the company reception?

In both cases, it happens easily that the newcomer is set with expertise, with performance brags. Often lose be promoted in the areas of Technical, you are in love with detail, comment too technical or preachy. You will feel on your area for sure. But they are perceived as tiring and pedantic. The climbers don’t have to sell but even he is invited, he is already doing. As it goes around the Threading to fit.

How to get on the dreaded Small Talk, because really?

There are half a dozen thematic areas, which are found in the top of the Premier League often: sports, culture, future, Region, family and volunteering. Also typical for the abrupt questions are: “what is your opinion of the stock market?” You have the courage to own strong opinion. At the latest after 60 seconds, better, much earlier, continue to play the Ball. You think so: at the top it is in order to outdo the other. It comes to be similar to them.

Then you have to pretend so?

I know the middle class is afraid of that, or even a unwillingness. To decision-makers or funders to set the feeling for many, as you would ranschleimen. A friend of mine calls it “anschmei smile”. I would call it “settling”.

But there is a role-playing game.

at the Very top is not a Sunday stroll is to play. Also, for the not there for a long time. During my research I spoke with the heiress of a well-known family company. She said to me: “You do not believe how exhausting it is to be Henrike so-and-So.”

Our newcomer has done it, he has the top docked, he has changed his habit. Now he is visiting parents and old friends. How does he expect?

He feels right at home. He is on a different flight altitude. His habit appears aloof. This is an experience that both sides cut deep into the soul. It is almost never spoken.


All movers: Facebook chief Mark Zuckerberg blew off the rules, Michelle Obama a lot of time left, and Siemens CEO Joe Kaeser shone through hardness

©Reflex; Action Press; Frank Bauer/star

Can you describe what happened there?

The newcomer feels torn. He expressed figuratively, on the other side of the world drawn. He gave up his citizenship, learned a new language, a new culture accustomed to, and huge efforts. Now he’s coming back …

… on a home visit …

… and hear: “it’s not you!” – “That doesn’t fits you!” May be he even gets the question: “Are we good enough for you?”

How do you explain the reaction? All of them could be proud of him.

But he seems to be on the remaining as an outlier. Psychologists call the reaction of the “crab basket effect.” Prisoners of crabs are thrown alive into a basket, the animals could escape from it easily, but you pull back again and again to each other from the open loophole. If climbers are familiar with this effect, you can deal easier.

where do you get your findings via the such closed upper layer?

I’ve evaluated dozens of studies. From my own experience I know floors the top percent of society clubs and the Executive Board. I learned: discretion is paramount.

And how they are pushed to the fact that the Habitus plays a crucial role in the ascent?

It was a formative experience in my youth. During the student exchange I ended up in Paris in a lower-class family. To eat, there was a cold tin of ravioli, the apartment in a high-rise estate dirty. I felt completely lost. My friend had caught the other Extreme, you had been taken in a French upper-class family. There was also a place for me. There was everything in Excess: generosity, books, music, affection and interest. But also high expectations of language and Behaviour. Because I realized for the first Time, what is the difference of the Habitus.

Duchess Meghan

royale etiquette


it breaks again and Then let them look. You live in a beautiful house with garden in a village near Augsburg. Her husband is a Professor. In the Garage, an SUV. You belong to the middle or upper class?

It is a hot iron, to situate themselves socially. We belong to the academic center and have professional and social contacts to the upper layer.

What are the habits you demonstrate in your own four walls?

There is a high degree of clarity. You can see that we are books people, and lots of music to listen to. The old oak table at which we sit up straight, or the Chinese Bank, in addition to the oven I like, just because they are a little shabby and worn.

on The shelf, a collection of cooking books.

Good, healthy, thoughtful food, guests to invite is important to me – how many people in the middle, and at the very top. Somewhere in the basement of the Riedel glasses. With us, you hardly ever have to use. It takes us too long to Polish it off.

But you can’t live just as one pleases, and stay as it is and still upgrade?

With the rise of the taste changes. Our preferences are not so individual as we think. They always reflect our social status.

Back to our climbers from the working class family. How strong is the “other origin places them at a disadvantage”?

You can do it anyway. Siemens chief Joe Kaeser for example, the Bavarian village comes from a remote. Easier career to succeed but if you get on further up. It is like a marathon. Who starts at Kilometer 20, it is stressful times a lot less. Of course it is unfair from the point of view of the middle. The above privileges be exercised hardly at all. How? You are simply there: the stimulating environment, the cosmopolitanism, the far-reaching Connections.

And the bottom one is biting out of frustration in the table. The cards are rigged.

Everyone is working with what he has. Consider, for example, the master craftsman, who takes the daughter of his best customers as a trainee. Also in the middle layer there are ways to support yourself during the ascent. But it is true, of course: A Professor can teach more demanding internships as a master craftsman, and a CEO once again opens other doors.


Get your hug: Why good-byes are unnecessary become

Everyone knows that networking is important. On Xing 15 million are active on Linkedin even 610 million.

Some people have many Hundreds of names in your network. But not a single viable relationship. It links are not points, but even more.

What you can learn from the networks of the upper class?

you have a lot of personal character. You will encounter on the Golf course, at the Oktoberfest or at the Charity concert. You speak each other, keeping an eye on. If you congratulate to birthdays, you know the names of the children and the dogs. The relations are wider at the top and private. Across industries, across politics, business, media, culture.

And in the middle?

In the middle to connect more with colleagues from the same company, with people from the neighborhood or from the same club. It is considered to be particularly professional, Professional and Private.

you say this is wrong?

It is not the ideal approach, in order to get ahead professionally and to take social influence.

How important is the company’s clubs such Lions, Rotary or Zonta?

In the clubs, various professional groups connect on similar levels. It is reported there, from the own professional environment. In a relaxed atmosphere. This is a Plus. My husband appreciates that at his club. Even if a topic doesn’t fit sometimes to his interest in the position, afterwards, I hear: “Well it was Interesting.” So relaxed relationship maintenance works.

The Habitus, the you said earlier, is also part of the look. What code have you found there?

The Exterior is supposed to look casual and effortless. Like Reese Witherspoon in the U.S. series “Big Little Lies”. The custom body, top well-kept skin and hair radiate joy and health. Glow instead of Glamour. To get ready, but not like you would stand for long in front of the mirror. Sharon Stone said: “It is not so easy to be as beautiful as you look.”

“Markus Lanz”

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And the men?

muscle packages continue to apply at the top as to be vulgar. Is announced, however, Marathon. He is the favorite sport of the chiefs. Every tenth of a Dax – and MDax-listed-in-chief, long-distance running.

If a young woman or a young man wants from the middle to the top, what are you warn?

A great danger, the amour fati, the Self-effacement is. The sociologist Pierre Bourdieu has coined the term. What is meant is the surrender to the fate. You can slow it down. To prevent this from happening, I would like to encourage: do not Align the ambitions of their own, then, what other in your environment. You may want to grow. Only those who stand out, can fly.

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