The psychology knows that we humans, as a rule, have for negative comments, a very permeable membrane, you will meet us directly into the heart. Positive and uplifting comments to bump into it on a thick Teflon layer.
For this high sensitivity to the dangers is made of the stone-age man and his life in the Wilderness, responsible. There are collective experiences from a time in which any carelessness could be dangerous. The fact is that we are always on the alert for hazards and to us only very rarely relaxed and feel safe.
This Grid may have been in the Savannah as hunters and gatherers useful, it is also survival of soldiers help – for relations, it acts as a slow poison.
husbands, Single men, nightmare or great love, as a man finds the Right one? Gernot Kramper Unfair for relations
The psychologist Dr. Alexandra Solomon reminds us in “Psychology Today” that the evil words hurt our partner, a lot stronger than his kind words can build us up. It’s not fair for the continued existence of a relationship and also tedious. The therapist John man of God, one must experience at least five Times more positive moments in a relationship as negative, so that love can flourish.
a further complication is Added: frequently the positive suffering cool with the time. From blistering heat to a comfortable room temperature gradually. Disputes tend to lose even in long-standing couples, none of its emotional intensity.
Alexandra Solomon says, against the explosive effect of negative experiences you have to build continuously “thick walls of warmth and support”. First of all, you must avoid three true sentences. After the experience of the couple therapist are the love killer, which can ruin most relationships.
extortion: “If You love me, would You …” Lady Lucan love, madness and a erschlagenes children girls – the Lady and the beast By Gernot Kramper
Who wants to enforce his will with this type of question of Trust, a threat to his relationship. Perhaps the Partner a draws intimidated. But Solomon says, if you love your Partner truly, you would not ask the question and the mutual love as a means of pressure. And at some point, which can be understood by the Partner.
The youth-nostalgia: “not Why it is like it was before?”
With the set, you will be fighting against time and age. But all things change with time. This is unabänderbar, no Partner can turn back the hands of time. Instead of a romantic fairy-tale dream of indulging in, you should ask yourself what you miss, specifically, and would like to have – right now, advises doctor Solomon. A dinner, a Massage. Prefer yourself to be vulnerable and as a human being with needs show as unfulfillable longings to dream afterwards.
The low blow: “You’re acting like your mother (your father)”
Even if this remark should not be content to be wrong, advises Solomon urgently, you ever. It was the announcement of an open fight, a blow below the belt. So any dispute would escalate inevitably. It would be better to identify exactly the type of Behavior that disturb one so much.
vows of Love, These words renew your love
to kill A “honey” in the Morning, and a duty, guilty of the “I love you” each relationship. Compliments are embarrassing, but life is important. An Overdose of it.