This conversation with the parents of a in Winnenden killed girl led Journalist and author Roman Grafe in September 2014. It is in his book, “fun and death: from sports weapons-delusion” that has just appeared in the Central German publishing house. The questions are not printed, mother and father take turns in coming to the word.
Christopher Nalepa, 43 years: At 11. In March 2009, I was at home, and I laid the floor tiles. I heard gone to the police helicopter and I am out; I didn’t know what was going on. I turned on the Radio and I have noticed that a rampage is happening. I’m the same, drove the bike over to the school.
Barbara Nalepa, 42 years: A Doctor has reported to us later – when she had opened the door to the classroom was so silent that you could hear Nicole’s breathing. You had a shot: a bullet in the back, which had hurt the kidney. Nicole was transported with the helicopter because they had the greatest Survival chances. In the helicopter, she suffered a cardiac arrest. Nicole is simply bled to death. I think she has to die in pain and alone. I don’t know if you thought of us. It hurts me so, that she was so alone. And if she was even conscious any longer, she saw in the class room, or even your shot Girlfriends.
Christopher: We were two days paralyzed on the Sofa from morning till night. We have just been drinking water and eaten nothing but a loaf of bread.
“fun and death: From sports weapons-madness – victims, perpetrators, lobbyists” of Roman Grafe, Mitteldeutscher Verlag, 30 Euro
Barbara: As Christoph said, he goes to the cemetery a place that I didn’t want to hear. I didn’t want to have all true. Christoph had the power. He said: “I have selected for you a Sunny place.” We knew that Nicole sun liked a lot.
Christopher: If I go to the grave, then I’m going to visit Nicole. I kiss your photo. – We know that she is dead. And yet I must do this. I go every day to the cemetery.
Barbara: I go sometimes two, three times a day to Nicole. When Christoph wasn’t even at the tomb, I spoke with Nicole and her told the reason why the dad didn’t come. I can talk to her about everything, even though I know she gives me no answer.
Christopher: We would like to continue to share with her.
Barbara: taken, We have to move the whole room by Nicole. Some ask us: Why do you still have the stuff from her? Then I say, Our Nicole will be home with us always. As long as we live, she will be with us. We will live with our daughter. We know that Nicole is now over five years under the earth. Your all was taken. When we are on vacation and fun, then it hurts in the same Moment, because Nicole can’t experience it. I know how she has lived.
Christopher: The ease is gone. We are no longer carefree.
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Barbara: I’d like to have back my happy life with my daughter. With all the joy we had. And with all the bullshit at home, sometimes yelling at, and to say what is thing. I’ve protected Nicole, as well as I could. I had thought that the school is a safe place where nothing can happen. At most, if you may have to fall down the stairs, then you can break the foot. My child has not gone to a shooting club and has as a target – she was in the school and was shot in the back.
Christopher: You have to send the child to school. In Germany we have compulsory education.
Barbara: So we live with this risk. Every day we have to fear, if we send our two younger children to school. Until the end of the fourth class, we have accompanied you and picked up again. The children have often felt that we have great fear for you. This fear accompanied us. We have spoken with the children is always open and told them that we want to teach you at home. We experience every adoption is completely different than in the past. We do now always a cross on the forehead. “Take care of Yourself! If you need anything, call immediately!” You let go of the children. But if the school is going on, where children are safe to be, then it can happen anywhere. I think here in Winnenden many are afraid to have kids because, you know, it is very close, and it can affect anyone. Politicians have promised us after the rampage, that something will change. But it has done nothing.
“Killed protect with firearms of sport” – victims-map of the sport murder weapons Initiative (1990 to 2018, without the suicides)
Christopher : you just let people be murdered with these weapons. Take it in stride. – You can die from an illegal weapon, we know. But it’s not about that. It is important that the children were killed with a legal weapon.
Barbara: We are convinced that it happens again sometime.
Christopher: If it happens again, then I’m going to be a mourning event to. And then I’m going to, if it is possible, the politicians ask why you are there.
Barbara: “you Have to mourn something?” we will ask.
Christopher: I would tell you that they are all murderers. You have not contributed to the fact that the children live in Winnenden: do not change the weapons law.
Barbara: If an event is in a Church, then I will ask, why the Christian parties are here. You call yourselves Christians! I learned something else: God has positioned us ten commandments, one States: “Thou shalt not kill!” What are you doing here? Allowed lethal sporting weapons.
A student from Winnenden wrote eggnen farewell letter during the amok run
©archives R. Grafe
Christopher: That you do not wegkriegt the weapons so fast, we knew. But we wanted to make the schools safer.
Barbara: My thought at the beginning was, with the weapons-Lobby, it is not going to be easy. This fight will take longer. However, I thought this bad to Happen, the loss of my daughter and the other children in the rampage, will Wake up the politicians. Something has to change here. I really believed that the policy will make something. But the weapons are still there.
Christopher: I actually knew that our Constitution will be rejected complaint to the intensification of the weapons law. But I was hoping that it comes different. To throw the Ball back to the policy that was the Cheapest thing that could happen. The judge did not want to deal with it at all. They didn’t want to change the law.
Barbara: And with such a short justification! I did not want to believe. You put a human and a weapon on two scales. And the gun has prevailed.